Understanding and Overcoming Financial Exploitation by Narcissists

Dealing with a narcissist in any context can be a complex and challenging experience, but when the dynamics involve financial dependence, the situation can become even more daunting. A common theme in narcissistic relationships is a persistent pattern of financial control and exploitation. This article explores why a narcissist might exploit you financially, offers guidance on how to break free from such manipulation, and emphasizes the importance of seeking help and support.

Why Does a Narcissist Think You Owe Them All the Time Financially?

The behavior of a narcissist can be perplexing and often infuriating. Let's delve into why a narcissist might believe you owe them money, despite them providing little or nothing in return.

Perception of the World: Narcissists believe they are the center of the universe and see everything through their own lens. They perceive financial resources as belonging to them. Since they are the 'center' of their own universe, they often feel that all financial resources should be controlled by them or accessible to them. This entitlement extends to relationships, where financial control is just one aspect of the narcissistic behavior.

Financial Exploitation and Control Tactics

Narcissists often employ various financial manipulation tactics to exert control over their victims. These include:

Financial Dependence: Making you believe that your survival and well-being are contingent upon their financial support. Manipulate Expectations: Setting unrealistic expectations for financial contribution that you can never meet, leading to ongoing guilt and debt. Accusations and Blame: Laying blame at your feet when they incur debt or face financial problems. They might accuse you of being extravagant or wasteful, despite their own profligate spending.

Real-Life Example of Financial Exploitation

Consider the case of a 60-year-old woman who was in a 9-year marriage with a narcissist. During this time, her partner accused her of cheating and lying, leading to a rift in their relationship. She eventually moved to a guest bedroom and bathroom, maintaining her own bank account and personal expenses. Despite this, her ex-partner still demanded financial contributions, citing the need to split the bills. This scenario is not unique; it reflects the financial control tactics often employed by narcissists.

The Question to Ask

Instead of asking why a narcissist is finically exploiting you, the more pertinent question is about how to leave the relationship. Leaving is not just a matter of walking out the door; it's about taking control of your life and regaining your financial freedom.

Steps to Leave and Overcome Financial Exploitation by a Narcissist

Take Legal Advice: Speak to a lawyer who specializes in family law. They can provide guidance on your rights and obligations, particularly pertaining to financial matters. Build Financial Independence: Start saving money that is entirely yours. Even small contributions can add up over time and pave the way towards financial independence. Establish Cyber and Financial Boundaries: After the relationship, fully disconnect from the narcissist to prevent further exploitation. Change passwords, update financial information, and use different bank accounts. Seek Support: Consider joining a support group or finding a therapist who specializes in narcissistic abuse. Sharing your experience with others and receiving professional help can be invaluable.

Conclusion

In the end, all narcissists are fundamentally bad people who will continue to exploit and abuse you. The only way to protect yourself is to leave their orbit and begin to reclaim your life. You deserve to live a life free from financial stress and emotional abuse. By taking the steps outlined above and educating yourself about narcissism, you can regain your financial independence and start living a fulfilling life.

Remember, You Are Not Alone. Help is available, and you have the power to change your life for the better.

Resources for Further Reading

The Pocket Encyclopaedia Of Narcissism: A comprehensive resource that covers the creation and manipulation of narcissists. Available here. Support Groups: Local or online groups can offer emotional support and practical guidance. Search for narcissistic abuse support groups in your area. Treatment Options: Therapy can be crucial in the recovery process. Consider finding a therapist specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery.

GIF Attribution

Image attribution: Lee Miller 2019 or Royalty free stock photography.

Quotation Attribution

Quotation attribution/citation: Lee Miller 2019 The Pocket Encyclopaedia Of Narcissism

Affiliation

Any book recommended in this article was written by the author, Lee Miller.