Understanding Crushes: Why Some Teens Don’t Feel a Connection
As a teenager navigating the complex world of romantic relationships, it’s normal to feel uncertain about whether or not you’ve experienced a genuine crush. I feel like all my life I have just been faking all of my crushes for approval like I’ve never truly ever had a crush on anyone. Does anybody know what is wrong with me?
Crushes and Romantic Attractions
There’s nothing wrong with you. Everyone’s romantic journey unfolds at a different pace. Some people may develop crushes at different times than others, and some may feel aromantic (not experiencing romantic attraction). This is completely valid, and it’s okay if you haven’t experienced a strong connection yet. You’re still exploring and learning about yourself.
Why You Might Not Be Feeling It
It’s quite natural and common to not experience a crush when you’re 17 or even older. In fact, most kids and teens enter relationships today based on 'like,' not love. They roll in and out of relationships believing that everyone should be in one. This isn’t true love. Real love is a rare and powerful feeling that doesn’t happen very often in one’s life.
Your Sexual Orientation and Crushes
As a 17-year-old girl, I can tell you that I have never had a crush, and I can assure you that nothing is wrong with you. If you identify as aromantic and asexual, you are not experiencing romantic or sexual attraction, which is perfectly fine. There’s also the possibility that you are a late bloomer, meaning you might start experiencing these feelings later in life.
Crushes and the Evolution of Love
When you do experience a crush, it’s important to understand the difference between infatuation and real love. An infatuation is an intense but temporary attraction or obsession, which can be thrilling but isn’t necessarily meaningful or long-lasting. True love, on the other hand, hits you hard and profoundly. It’s a much deeper and longer-lasting emotion.
Teens often experience infatuations because their emotions and hormones are still developing. When you encounter someone who you believe is the 'one,' it’s usually a combination of infatuation and the excitement of new emotions. These feelings can be exhilarating but might not be the same as true love. Real love will come, but it’s okay to take your time and enjoy the process.
Understanding Crushes in Romantic Maturity
Many adults look back at their teenage years and realize they didn’t have a true infatuation until much later. For example, my teenage friend was physically developed but didn’t feel a crush until she was 17. At first, she thought she was in love and married, only to discover later that her attraction to her husband was based on a deep emotional connection, not a crush or romantic infatuation.
If you feel like you’re not experiencing a strong crush, it’s important to keep that in perspective. Some people simply experience these emotions later in life, and that’s completely normal. Don’t rush into settling for anything that doesn’t feel genuine. Focus on your present and develop your understanding of what real love means to you.
If and when you do experience a strong crush, remember that it will feel like an awakening of true love. When the right person comes, it will be a surprise and come at an unexpected moment. In the meantime, keep exploring and learning about yourself, and enjoy the journey of discovering your own romantic path.