The Win-Win of Choosing to 'Love' Over 'Be Loved'
To love myself and also to be loved by myself, both are equally important but they hold different weights in my life. Despite having experienced love more than once and being the subject of love less often, I remain hopeful and believe it is never too late to find the love of my life.
The Question at Hand
One day, someone posed a thought-provoking question: 'If you had to choose, would you rather "love" or be "loved"? ' I answered without hesitation, choosing to "love" others instead of being loved by them. Here’s why I made this choice:
Why Choose to 'Love'
Independence and Mastery of Personal Happiness
When I choose to love others, I gain the power to control my own happiness and well-being. I am the author of my own narrative and the master of my own fate. If I invest in loving others, I can create a situation where their love for me is not contingent upon them but rather a reflection of their own genuine feelings.
Instilling Lasting Love and Affection
By loving others, I can instill and foster a deep, meaningful love that would endure even after I am gone. This kind of love is not just a passing emotion but a profound connection that transcends time and circumstances. This is a win-win situation because not only is my own happiness secured, but I leave behind a legacy of true and enduring love.
The Drawbacks of 'Be Loved'
On the other hand, if I were to choose to be loved without reciprocating that love, I would find myself utterly dependent on others for my emotional well-being. This can be a precarious position to be in. If and when the source of my love shifts or wanes, I could find myself in a vulnerable and potentially destructive situation.
Feeling Ruined When Unloved
Dependency on the love of others can lead to a state of ruin if that love is taken away or negated. The happiness derived from being loved is intertwined with the person who provides that love, making it unreliable and inconsistent. Instead, by choosing to love, I can ensure my own happiness and independence from external sources.
The Realization of a Perfect Sense
My friend, who posed this question, finally pointed out that what I was advocating was indeed a win-win situation. By choosing to "love" others, I am not simply trading short-term gains for a longer-term fulfillment. This choice is rooted in a deeper understanding of what it means to live a life of authenticity and growth.
Personal Reflection
Reflecting on my own experience, I realized that my idea had a perfect sense to me. I am part of an ongoing journey of personal growth and self-discovery. By prioritizing love, I am not only ensuring my own happiness but also contributing to a world that thrives on genuine and reciprocal connections.
Choosing to "love" over "being loved" may seem meek and unconventional at times, but it is a powerful statement about prioritizing personal independence and emotional well-being. In doing so, I am not only creating a life of my own choosing but also leaving behind a legacy of love that enriches the lives of those around me.