The Loneliness of High School: Why Some Students Choose Not to Date

The percentage of high school students who choose not to date can vary widely depending on several factors including cultural, social, and individual differences. Various surveys and studies suggest that a significant number remain single during their high school years. For instance, a survey conducted by the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) found that around 30 to 40% of high school students report not having dated at all. Additionally, other studies indicate that age, social circles, and personal preferences heavily influence dating behaviors.

My Personal Experience with Not Dating in High School

I don't date, and I don’t think I ever will date in high school. But I do have my reasons. It's not that I’ve never liked a guy; in fact, I have. Most boys my age act like toddlers, which is hilarious but often immature. I’ve been crushed on by many guys in the past, but I’ve rejected them all sadly. The first major instance when I was 11 years old, I had four boys liking me too, and all 11 years old. "How could you date someone at 11? " I thought. "That’s way too young."

A Classic Conversation Recap

Consider this exchange:

Boy: Hey Mais… I just wanted to say I really like you. Do you think we can be boyfriend and girlfriend?

Me: That’s nice of you, but I think we’re too young for all that. Let’s just focus on having fun!

Boy: WHA-T D-O Y-O-U M-E-A-N W-E’R-E T-O-O Y-O-U-N-G!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST TURNED 11!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Exactly. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some maths to do. Bye lolz

The Risks and Pitfalls of High School Dating

Now that I’m 15, I see the whole dating thing being incredibly common in my school, and I’m okay with that. But all those relationships always have one thing in common: They end in heartbreak.

I don’t believe in dating for the sake of dating. I don’t believe in loving a 15-year-old boy just for the sake of loving someone and having a boyfriend. I don’t really need— or want—that. At 15 years old, most boys aren’t mature enough, and mostly just want to hang with a girl to seem cool around their friends. I find the behavior of couples my age absolutely repulsive. "Why, seriously why?" Why do you need to be that desperate?" I often wonder.

It's so rare for me to find a teen couple that actually stay together and genuinely love one another.

Looking for Lasting Relationships

I want to date someone I know I want to be with— for the rest of my life. We don’t date to be cool; we date because we want to find a life partner. Someone responsible and emotionally intelligent. Mature enough mentally, and behaves like someone who genuinely cares for us and loves us. I want a guy to love me, not to just be with me. No, I want a life partner, and I highly doubt I’m gonna find that person in high school if I’m honest.

So yeah, I don’t date. I won’t be dating until both me and the person I love are sure that we’re meant to be. A lifelong relationship is what I’m after. I’m not searching for heartbreak.