Strict But Fair Parents: A Path to Success
When reflecting on my upbringing, I realize that having strict but fair parents would have been ideal. Children benefit immensely from knowing boundaries and limits, which help them develop healthy strategies for their personal growth and future success. This article explores the impact of different parenting styles and argues why strict but fair parenting is often more beneficial.
Introduction
Parenting styles vary greatly among families, and each has its own set of advantages and disadvantages. Some parents prefer to be more lenient, while others believe in strict discipline. This article aims to explore the importance of strict but fair parenting and why it can lead to more successful and well-adjusted children.
Liberal but Permissive Parents
Many parents opt for a more liberal and permissive approach, believing that giving children space and freedom will lead to a more independent and happy adult. However, this approach often results in children lacking the necessary guidance and structure. For instance, overly permissive parents may not teach their children essential life skills, leading to a lack of preparedness for adulthood.
As one parent shared, 'My parents were pretty lenient, and I always respected them because they showed me the same. However, though I did not usually show it, I had absolutely no respect for authoritarian teachers.' This shows a disconnection between permissive parents and the expectations of structured educational environments.
Case Study: My Sister's Family
My sister and I had different approaches to parenting, leading to contrasting outcomes. My sister believed in giving her children full reign and being their friend as a parent. This hands-off approach often resulted in children making impulsive decisions based on their own reasons, leading to issues like defacing their rooms, cutting screens from windows, and engaging in drug use. One child even got pregnant and had an abortion.
The parents blamed their children instead of themselves for not providing the necessary teachings, discipline, and support. Without the proper guidance, these children were not adequately prepared to succeed in the outside world, leading to problems in both education and adulthood.
Strict But Fair Parents
My approach to parenting was the opposite, involving strict but fair discipline. I believed that having clear boundaries and consistent rules would help my children understand the expectations placed upon them.
One of my children, for example, is my daughter with Asperger's. Despite her social challenges, my strict but fair approach helped her develop strong academic skills and become the teacher's favorite in some classes. My son also excelled, and both my children succeeded in their pursuits.
Importance of Parental Involvement
The involvement of parents is crucial in a child's development, particularly in instilling good values and discipline. A child's ability to achieve success in life is significantly influenced by the education and support received from their parents.
As an aunt, I observed my niece struggle with writing and spelling, indicating a lack of proper guidance in reading and education. Effective parenting is about providing the tools and support needed for children to thrive, both academically and personally.
Sustained Success Through Parental Guidance
My children, despite coming from a toxic environment, succeeded because of the strong values, discipline, and faith instilled in them by their parents. They both graduated from Auburn University and have successful careers and families. In contrast, my sister's and brother-in-law's daughters struggled to succeed due to a lack of parental involvement in their faith and education.
The importance of a parent's role cannot be overstated. It takes effort from one or both parents to ensure their child's success, and providing guidance and support in faith and education is essential for a child's future endeavors.
Conclusion
In conclusion, while a liberal and permissive parenting style may seem more lenient, it often leads to a lack of structure and guidance. Strict but fair parents, on the other hand, provide the necessary boundaries and support for children to develop into well-adjusted, successful adults. The involvement of parents in their children's lives is crucial for their long-term success.