Is Respect a Form of Entitlement?

The relationship between respect and entitlement is complex and can vary based on context. Here are some points to consider:

Definitions

Respect is generally seen as a positive regard for someone’s feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions. It involves recognizing the value of others and treating them accordingly. On the other hand, entitlement refers to the belief that one inherently deserves certain privileges or special treatment often without regard for others’ rights or contributions.

Respect as a Right

Some argue that every individual deserves respect simply for being human, which could be seen as a form of entitlement. This perspective emphasizes the idea that respect should be universally granted, regardless of the individual's actions or character.

Respect as a Privilege

Others might argue that respect must be earned through actions, behaviors, and character. In this view, claiming respect without having demonstrated qualities worthy of it could be seen as a sense of entitlement.

Cultural Perspectives

Different cultures have varying views on respect and entitlement. In some cultures, respect for elders or authority figures is deeply ingrained and may be viewed as a societal obligation rather than a matter of entitlement. This cultural context plays a significant role in shaping how respect is perceived and received.

Interpersonal Dynamics

In relationships, feelings of entitlement can lead to conflicts when one party expects respect without reciprocating it. Conversely, mutual respect can foster healthy relationships, making entitlement less relevant.

Respect is ideally afforded to everyone at the baseline. It functions as a form of social glue that enables and lubricates transactions between people and is a fundamental force that sustains hierarchical arrangements. However, in practice, respect is something that is at its very best earned. You cannot control how others see you, and how they see you often translates to the level of respect they bestow upon you.

There are other realities such as people projecting or "transferring" unconscious dynamics or important others from earlier stages of life onto you, to sort of handle unfinished psychological business. In cases like this, you may feel the way the person treats you and their respect/lack of it as not befitting of the situation or your appraisal of yourself.

Humans relate to one another in complex ways, and whether one receives or does not receive respect and the levels of said respect is greatly contingent upon the complexities of individuals involved. It's simply not something an individual with their limits can control.

As such, it stands to reason that an entitlement to respect may be the aftereffect of social institutions stressing the importance of baseline respect as they stress the importance of morally upright behavior, but this is hardly how the world works because people are too complex to be shoehorned into neat guidelines for life dictated to them by society, religion, family, or whatever institutions.

We'd all ideally like a baseline of respect, but we aren't given it because of the peculiarities and history of the people who judge us, our own shortcomings which we are often blind to, and the arrangements we are in. People often don't feel respected at work and other competitive situations where the likelihood for antagonism is high. And if you go throughout life demanding respect and reacting to people who don't respect you, you come off as entitled and pathetic.

So a paradox occurs: we want respect at the baseline, and if we had it, it would make social transactions a lot easier. But we often don't get it because it's impossible for imperfect human beings to maintain true respect at all points of entry in social intercourse. And if we don't get it and insist on getting it, we are seen as even less worthy of respect.

At best, respect is earned, but even then, you cannot control whether you actually get it because you are not the people around you appraising you at any given time.

Conclusion

The distinction between respect and entitlement often depends on individual perspectives and cultural norms. In summary, while respect can be viewed as a form of entitlement in some contexts, it is more commonly understood as a reciprocal and earned quality that enhances interpersonal relationships. Understanding this nuanced relationship is crucial for navigating the complexities of social interactions.