Overview

Living with the strict and sometimes painful expectations of childhood corporal punishment as an adult can be a deeply distressing experience. This article aims to guide individuals who are facing or have faced similar situations, with actionable steps to address and move forward.

Understanding the Context

The Coercion vs. Consent

It is crucial to recognize that when a parent applies corporal punishment on a child, it is often based on coercion and control. As an adult, this behavior can be classified as sexual assault. The emotional and physical pain inflicted can be exploited by those who should be providing guidance and support.

When you submit to this, it means you are accepting the abuse, which is not your responsibility. As an adult, it is essential to assert your autonomy and respect for yourself. Pointing out the abuse to your parents, acknowledging it, and discussing it respectfully can lead to a shift in their understanding and behavior.

Changing Behavior to Combat Punishment

One of the best ways to combat corporal punishment is to ensure you behave in a manner that diminishes the reasons for it. This involves following their recommendations, adhering to orders and prohibitions, and completing household chores promptly. Although this can be challenging, consistency in behavior is key to gaining respect and altering the dynamic in your relationship.

Indirect Approaches to Change

Subtle Resistance

Instead of confronting the situation head-on, a more strategic approach can be to subtly resist the authority they attempt to impose. This involves being consistent, respectful, and non-combative. Engage in conversations without escalating or provoking:

1. Select Appropriate Moments: Choose times when you are not directly engaged in an immediate conflict. For example, when your parents are watching a match or when you are away from home, such as on the water. Use these moments to initiate discussions about the appropriateness of the punishment.

2. Explain Your Perspective: Share why it is difficult to accept corporal punishment at your age. Explain the emotional and physical impact it has on you. This can open up a dialog that may lead to a better understanding from your parents.

3. Avoid Confrontation: Never stand up and remind them of your adulthood, as they will likely respond that your disobedience is why you are being treated as a child. The key is to stay calm and rational.

Gradual Change in Approach

Steps Toward Less Painful Punishments

Instead of a full head-on clash, focus on creating a gradual shift. Here are some steps you can take:

Start with Less Painful Punishments: Begin by accepting corporal punishment through pants or at least underpants, not barebottom. This demonstrates a willingness to compromise.

Replace Physical Punishment: Gradually replace the spanking with more verbal or behavioral punishments. For example, issue warnings for specific behaviors, rather than corporal punishment.

Seek Alternatives: Propose alternative forms of discipline that are more fitting for your age and maturity level. Emphasize responsible behavior and discuss how you can prove your maturity through consistent behavior.

Practical Tips for Relief

Relief from Pain

When facing the likelihood of corporal punishment, consider the following practical tips to alleviate pain and promote healing:

Massage: Massage your buttocks thoroughly before the punishment to reduce sensitivity to the blows.

Herbal Remedies: After the punishment, cover your buttocks with cabbage leaves overnight. They can help remove bruises more quickly and minimize discomfort during sitting.

Conclusion

Living with the legacy of childhood corporal punishment as an adult is a challenging journey. By understanding the dynamics and taking strategic steps, you can work towards a healthier, more respectful relationship with your parents. It may be difficult, but with patience and persistence, it is possible to change the narrative.