Managing Your Child's Temper: Effective Strategies and Techniques

Parenting a young child can be one of the most rewarding experiences, but it is also filled with challenges. One of the most common challenges is dealing with a temper that makes manipulation seem like a full-time job. As a grandparent who has observed many children through the years, I have found a few effective strategies that can help manage these temper tantrums.

Rule Number One: Positive Reinforcement

Children are more likely to behave when they see that their actions have a positive impact. The first rule to remember is to never respond to them unless they do something you can praise. When they do, give them a barrage of praise to reinforce that behavior. This not only encourages them to continue behaving positively but also makes them feel loved and appreciated.

Corollary: Evaluate and Prioritize

Behaviors aimed at manipulating your actions, such as screaming fits or physical resistance, should be evaluated to determine if they will stop by the time you reach your destination. For example, if you are putting your child into a car seat and they start having a full-on hissy-fit, remember you are bigger and must prevail without raising your voice or inflicting deliberate pain like a slap. The key is to remain calm and patient. Your child will eventually realize they have lost that round if you consistently win without showing excessive frustration.

Imposed Behaviors

Imposed behaviors such as eating what you serve, going to bed at the hour you choose, and not throwing food on the floor can be particularly challenging. The opening round is often lost, as your child may resist. However, it is crucial to follow through. Serve no more food or snacks and smile while saying, 'This is your food. When it’s gone, I might get you something else.' Do not imply that you might get them a treat. You retain the right to choose, and your child needs to understand this. Smiling and using a calm, soothing voice can help set the tone.

Physical and Emotional Calmness

To break the cycle of temper tantrums, it is important to maintain calmness both physically and emotionally. Facing your child closely and breathing slowly and deeply can help them follow your calmer rhythm. This shows that you are disappointed but also maintain a loving demeanor. This approach can significantly reduce bratty behaviors if consistently applied.

Building a Strong Team Spirit

Children feel valuable when they help out. Always show disappointment but maintain love and support. You and your child should be on the same team, which is built through earned praise and shared work. When children see their contributions make a difference, they will feel more valued and less likely to throw tantrums. Consider that investing in helping them learn new skills is an investment in the future. Showing how to do things rather than not-doing things is crucial. Downplay failures and reward successes to build their confidence and resilience.

Always Show Disappointment and Love

It’s important to show that you are disappointed but loving in all your interactions. Once you and the child are on the same team, disappointment can have a powerful effect. By consistently applying these strategies, you can turn a challenging situation into a learning opportunity and a closer relationship with your child.

Best of luck!