Identifying Less Discussed Signs of Emotional Abuse in Relationships
Understanding Emotional Abuse
Often misunderstood and under-discussed, emotional abuse can take many forms beyond the obvious. My personal experience includes a period where I made excuses for his belittling comments, rationalizing his behavior as normal. This is a common phenomenon known as Google Stockholm Syndrome, where abuse victims develop a form of emotional attachment or loyalty to their abuser, making it hard to recognize the toxic behavior. If you are in a relationship and find yourself rationalizing your partner’s bad behavior, it may be time to re-evaluate the situation.
Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
Just like my experience, many forms of emotional abuse are not as overt as physical violence. These subtle signs often go unnoticed or are misinterpreted. One such sign is when your partner talks for you. For example, when someone asks a question and your partner interrupts to answer, it may seem like he is helping you, but in reality, it is a form of control. Similarly, statements like “she/he is bad with money, so I do the budget” can make you feel inadequate, limiting your independence and access to resources. Another sign is when your partner insists on accompanying you to medical appointments and answering the questions for the doctor. It may seem caring, but it can take away your privacy and potentially provide misinformation to the doctor, hiding abuse.
Why These Signs Are Often Missed
Often, these signs are missed because they are subtle and can be misinterpreted or hidden. You might recognize them, but they don’t set off the red lights in your mind. Additionally, growing up in a dysfunctional family can desensitize you to these behaviors. Without other models or intellectual discussions, these behaviors are simply filed under “normal.” In adulthood, this can lead to a lack of recognition for these signs as harmful. To avoid these pitfalls, it is recommended to undergo a season of therapy to understand your own programming and establish a positive list of signs of a healthy, well-balanced person. This can serve as a blueprint for future dating, emphasizing a more positive and encouraging approach to healthy relationships rather than constantly searching for toxic partners.