How to Generate a Worse Ending for Game of Thrones
Every fan of A Song of Ice and Fire or the Game of Thrones TV series has their own unique take on what could have made the ending even worse. Though most variations might focus on regrettable choices or missed opportunities, this article explores a more extreme and chaotic direction for the show's finale.
Imagining a Grislier End to Westeros
For those who believe the show could have ended poorly, here’s an alternate sequence of events that doesn't just twist the original storyline but subverts it entirely. Imagine a world where Lady Stoneheart and the Brotherhood Without Banners invade a Red Wedding 2.0 scene, surrounded by the decaying bodies of the Freys. Instead of a simple massacre, imagine them celebrating their victory, with war elephants commanded by a youthful version of Aegon Targaryen, and a more fearsome and realistically scary Euron Greyjoy, dressed in Valyrian steel armor and radiating an aura of sinister power.
Witness the Oldtown burning as the Kraken tentacles rise from a sea of blood. After the devastation, scenes cut to a Marvel-style post-credits experience with protagonists complaining about the twists they were subjected to. Lady Stoneheart, Young Aegon, and a more faithful and scary-looking Euron all grumble about how the storyline was manipulated, with Euron’s exasperation resembling that of a Pirates of the Caribbean Jack Sparrow dealing with insane plot twists.
Jon Snow’s Failure as King
Instead of the controversial decision to make Jon Snow king, envision a scenario where he fails utterly in this role. He’s stripped of his authority, and his attempts at leadership are laughably ineffective. Jon’s failure is symbolized by his loss of the people’s respect, his support of a madwoman, and a sex scandal that costs him his kingdom. Not only is he disrespected, but he’s arguably responsible for the death of his queen, motivated not by noble intentions but by familial considerations.
The Madcap Lord Paramount Robert Stark
Imagine a universe where Lord Paramount Robert Stark, iconic in his own right as a figure of stark nobility and dignity, has a sudden revival of his past actions. The Riverlands are a madcap battlefield as King Arthur and his idiot-horse-guy from a Monty Python-inspired scene (let's call this foreman "Galahad") stroll by, with Galahad loudly calling out “Mr. Frodo!” as he engages in a creep-staring contest with Bran Stark. Meanwhile, Jack Sparrow is singing about a jar full of dirt, and Darth Sidious appears to cackle maniacally.
Turn the page of history, and imagine Jon's tragic end with a more explicit detail: he has a liaison with Lady Stoneheart, a direct violation of the moral and ethical standards of the Seven Kingdoms. Yet, when the news of Sansa’s independent reign spreads, Mel Gibson’s William Wallace shouts “FREEEEEDDOOOOOOMMM!” before being sent skyward by the Dragonborn atop a unicorn, due to a failed attempt against the Avengers, who are voiced by characters from the Elder Scrolls universe.
A Harsh Cosmic Intervention
The universe seems to be against the Iron Throne and Westeros as the Death Star and Star Destroyers materialize from hyperspace, activating a cosmic fiasco. Darth Vader, addressing the situation with confusion, says, “WHAT!” to which the Force Ghost of Denethor dryly replies, “Yeah, that’s Dorne. Some desert country.” James Norrington, an ironic addition, stands next to Vader, offering the opinion that “I don't like sand. It's rough, coarse, irritating... And it gets EVERYWHERE!”
The final scene captures a particularly ironic moment as Jesus steps down from a set of invisible celestial steps only to witness the chaos below. After a moment of shock, Jesus replies, “What the Fk… Oh, yes, wrong dimensional door. I Told Dad he has to put frames with names over them.” He vanishes just as the iconic shot of the Death Star firing a green laser beam at the Red Keep is shown, concluding the series with a cosmic collision that leaves Westeros in more turmoil than ever before.
Conclusion
The above-mentioned scenario is a twisted yet entertaining way to imagine what could have happened if The Winds of Winter and A Dream of Spring were written in a very different direction. It’s a cautionary tale for any fan, reminding us that while Game of Thrones was flawed, it had its moments of brilliance and meaningful storytelling. The internet is a vast playground for such creative discussions, and it’s fun to explore the what-ifs of beloved series while maintaining a humorous perspective.
Keywords: Game of Thrones, Seinfeld Ending, Worsening Storylines