EMDR: Healing or Horror? My Personal Journey Through Trauma

EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a neurobiological form of psychotherapy that has helped countless individuals heal from trauma. However, my experience with EMDR was not always a smooth journey. In this article, I will share my personal stories and insights into EMDR, both the healing and the horror.

Struggling Through the Horror

During one EMDR session, I felt an eerie presence in the room. It was a dark figure in the corner that watched me silently. This figure represented the deep-seated trauma I had been trying to confront. I was terrified, feeling helpless and paralyzed. Fortunately, my therapist was able to help me break the trance and continue the session.

My EMDR therapist was highly trained and experienced in treating deeply traumatized individuals. He knew how to handle the intense emotions that came up during sessions. Over time, he helped me process traumas from an abusive relationship, which had led to panic attacks and decades of anxiety. EMDR allowed me to reprocess these traumas in a few months, and the relief was profound.

Risks and Concerns

While EMDR transformed my life, I have witnessed its dark side. Three friends who underwent EMDR experienced severe negative outcomes. Two of them committed suicide, while the third is struggling with increased CPTSD symptoms. Their stories are a stark reminder of the potential risks of this therapy.

I personally prefer not to undergo EMDR due to its intense and potentially traumatizing nature. The rapid reprocessing of traumatic memories can be overwhelming and may even trigger new issues. While EMDR can be incredibly effective, it is not suitable for everyone.

The Process of Healing

EMDR is intense because it works immediately behind the sensory defense triggers. It targets the body memory, which can be overwhelming. In the early stages of my therapy, I experienced vivid dreams that seemed like a barrage of memories from the past two decades. These dreams were a horror story, but they were also a necessary part of the healing process.

The extreme effects of EMDR on my dreams were a sign that the therapy was working. It helped me process decades of trauma in weeks, which was a significant breakthrough. However, the journey was not always easy. I experienced persistent nightmares and a constant sense of unease. After a few months, I returned to therapy, and we tried a different approach.

EMDR therapy goes straight to the source of the trauma, bypassing the conscious mind. This can lead to a flood of memories and sensations that are initially overwhelming. The unfamiliar process of reprocessing can be unsettling, but it is ultimately necessary for healing. The horrid experiences during therapy sessions are a sign that the therapy is working effectively.

Completing the Journey

EMDR is a powerful therapy, but it is not the end of the journey. I also worked with structural dissociation and Internal Family System (IFS) therapy to address deeper emotional wounds. A combination of therapies is often necessary for comprehensive healing.

The end of EMDR therapy is not defined by a set number of sessions. It is marked by a sense of calm and control in the body. A balanced mind at rest feels centered and unburdened. The journey may be difficult and filled with horror stories, but with perseverance and support, EMDR can lead to a profound sense of freedom and healing.

Conclusion

EMDR therapy has given me back my life, but it is essential to proceed with caution and under the guidance of a skilled therapist. While it is a powerful tool for healing, it can also be a source of intense emotional distress. For those considering EMDR, it is crucial to have a comprehensive understanding of the process and its potential risks.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Can EMDR help with PTSD?
EMDR can be highly effective in treating PTSD, but the process can be intense and may trigger new issues. It is essential to work with a trained therapist who can guide you through the process.

Q: Is EMDR painful?
EMDR can be emotionally and psychologically challenging, but it is not physically painful. The discomfort comes from processing deep-seated traumas.

Q: How long does EMDR take to work?
The duration of EMDR can vary depending on the individual and the complexity of their trauma. In some cases, significant progress can be made in a few months, but it can take longer for more deeply ingrained issues.