Do Bullies Continue Their Victimization into Adulthood?

During my junior high years, I came across a kid who struck fear in everyone. He was extremely large, seemingly as big as an NFL player, and had a notorious reputation for tormenting others with the help of a posse. We were all 13 and he was more than willing to teach us a lesson on a few occasions.

Years later, I ran into him again when I was in senior high school. He had vanished, leaving everyone relieved but surprisingly no one thought much of it. It turned out he had dropped out and was forced to work to support his family, as he explained to me later. His transformation into a short, fat, and rather pitiful figure resonated with a mixture of pity and hope for redemption.

Understanding the Origins of Bullying

Many bullies behave this way due to learned behavior, often stemming from being bullied themselves at home. These individuals are insecure and compensate by tearing down others, which fosters a cycle of negativity. Sometimes bullies project their insecurities onto others, calling someone fat when they actually feel fat themselves. However, those who persist into adulthood may have never addressed the root of their behavior.

Outcomes of Childhood Bullying

Not all bullies continue their behavior into adulthood. Some drop out of school and become bullies, while others turn their lives around and stop bullying. The outcomes are as varied as the bullies themselves.

Notable Examples of Carrying Bullying into Adulthood

Donald Trump is often cited as an example of someone who continues to bully into adulthood. When he cannot achieve his goals through begging, he resorts to threatening and mocking. Despite this pattern, it’s important to note that not all students who were bullies when they were younger continue their behavior in the same way.

A Personal Story of Intervening in Bullying

During high school, I mingled with bigger boys, which required me to be tough to hold my ground. Once, my friend’s younger brother, also in our class, was being picked on by a senior. We felt it was our duty to intervene. We went into the bathroom, gave the bully a severe beating, and he never dared to bully anyone again. The next day, the older bully, seeing the situation, told him to deal with it himself and not involve us.

Addressing Bullying in Its Various Forms

To truly address bullying, it’s crucial to recognize its complexity. Bullying can stem from both innate personality traits and learned behavior. Schools and communities play a vital role in identifying and addressing bullying. By providing support and interventions, we can help bullies find healthier ways to manage their insecurities and prevent them from continuing their harmful behavior into adulthood.

Understanding the dynamics of bullying and its persistence into adulthood is an important step in breaking the cycle. Efforts must be made to support both the bullies and the victims of bullying to ensure a safer, more empathetic, and more inclusive society.