Understanding the Necessity of Friendship Boundaries

Kathy, you don’t have to come here to ask that. Change your phone number, hair color, or trade cars – plenty of things can be altered, but I can understand where you are coming from. I get the same feeling and it is depression; it sucks. You are not the only one, baby.

Having no friends at all can make you feel lonely and isolated. However, you don’t have to have a bunch of friends to feel good about yourself or to feel worthy of friendship. If you are a good friend who is willing to help others, they will help you too and bring you much happiness. If these current friends are not meeting your needs, it’s important to identify the root cause of the problem. Are they leaving you out of events, being mean to you, or gossiping about you behind your back?

Strategies for Detaching from Unhealthy Relationships

Detaching from unhealthy friendships can be a difficult and uncomfortable process, but it is crucial for your mental and emotional well-being. One approach is to move away and delete all your social media profiles. Another step is to slowly distance yourself from them. Begin by not responding to their texts or calls, and stop hanging out with them. Decline every invite and don’t pay attention to whatever they are saying and doing. If that isn’t enough, consider telling them that you need to focus on yourself and that cutting everyone off is a necessary step.

Finally, you have to tell them that you don’t want to be friends anymore and give a reason, letting them know you are blocking them. Simply blocking them without telling them your reason might feel like the easiest option, but it is important to let people know why you are removing them from your life. Particularly if they have been in your life for more than six months. While not everyone deserves the heads-up, many do. It is extremely rude to cut someone out of your life without an explanation, and it also lacks integrity and emotional intelligence.

Communicating Unhealthy Boundaries

When I want to cut someone out of my life, I prefer to send a written message. It can be less confrontational compared to an in-person conversation. They can read it and take the time to really understand what is being said. Here is an example of a message you might consider sending:

“Hey, I hope you’re doing well and taking care. I just wanted to let you know where I’m at and why I am feeling the way I am — as I don’t feel that we are aligned on many levels anymore. I wish you all the best in life. Take care.”

Be informative and to the point, avoid aggressive or harsh language, but make sure to let them know if they have hurt you. They may respond and tell you to go to hell. They may respond and explain that they had no idea you were feeling in such a way and want to recalibrate the connection. Or you may not hear from them at all. In any case, you can then move on with a clear conscience.

Remember, cutting off unhealthy friendships can be a long and sometimes painful process, but it ultimately brings you closer to self-care and self-love. It is important to prioritize your emotional health and well-being.