Awareness of Autism: Understanding Differences and Self-Perception

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) individuals often possess a unique understanding of their differences from neurotypical people. This awareness is significantly influenced by the severity of comorbid conditions, such as intellectual disability. For those with high functioning autism, known as level 1 ASD, the realization of their differences is profound and can lead to both challenges and opportunities for personal growth.

Acute Awareness and Social Struggles

Individuals with high functioning autism are usually extremely aware that they do not fit into societal norms. This awareness often translates into a constant effort to bridge the gap between their personal experiences and the expectations of the neurotypical world. However, this journey is fraught with emotional challenges. Many with ASD experience depression, anxiety, and even passive-aggressive behaviors due to repeated experiences of being bullied and misunderstood. These feelings can persist for years, leading to a lifelong sense of isolation and frustration.

A Personal Journey of Discovery

The author of this experience shares their own story of gradual understanding and acceptance. Though diagnosed relatively late in life, the awareness of being different has been a constant presence. Academically and professionally, the author excelled, but struggled with everyday social interactions, such as making new friends and maintaining confidence in uncertain situations. The struggle for connection and acceptance is a common theme among many with ASD, making the knowledge of autism a transformative yet often isolating experience.

Self-Perception and Neurodiversity

Despite the profound awareness of being different, many high functioning autistic individuals do not perceive themselves as fundamentally different. The author describes themselves as feeling "totally normal" to themselves, despite the clear differences in their cognitive and behavioral patterns. This contrast highlights the complexity of self-perception in individuals with ASD. The desire for a more typical experience, perhaps due to the innate understanding that neurotypical interactions may seem simpler, persists even after gaining a diagnosis.

Embracing and Accepting Differences

The journey to self-acceptance is ongoing. Having a diagnosis can bring a sense of relief and understanding. However, the struggle to change deeply rooted behaviors continues. The author finds a balance between acknowledging their condition and striving for personal growth, which can be both empowering and daunting. Recognizing and accepting one's unique neurodiverse traits is a crucial step towards living a fulfilling life.

Conclusion

The experience of being aware of one's autism is both a source of understanding and a challenge. It is a journey marked by both recognition of differences and the desire to connect on a deeper, more fulfilling level. For those with high functioning autism, the path to acceptance and understanding can be a transformative experience.

Key Points:

Awareness of ASD often significantly influences the perception of differences within individuals High functioning individuals may feel a strong sense of being different without fully perceiving themselves as "other" Diagnosis can bring a sense of relief and understanding but does not eliminate the struggle to fit in and change certain behaviors Self-acceptance and embracing neurodiversity are essential steps towards a fulfilling life

Understanding the experiences of those with autism can foster greater empathy and support in our communities. If you or someone you know struggles with these issues, seeking professional guidance can be beneficial.